so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
