About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
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please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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