We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
