I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
