We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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