Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize