I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
