What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead