turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
