I wish i was in the wii world.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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