I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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