I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
