addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
