You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
