i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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