Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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