In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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