Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize