i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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