my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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