He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
