he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
