Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
