I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
