someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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