so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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