i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize