weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
