My friends, they love my intelligence
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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