I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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