I hate your face
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
