If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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