We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
