That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
