Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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