I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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