omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
