So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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