i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
