how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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