Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
