I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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