how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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