So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
