Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You're like the curious george of whores
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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