So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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