Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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