I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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