So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
