just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
