but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
