The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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