She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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