i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
