Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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