Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
