not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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