Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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