Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
