I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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