We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
