I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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