and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
two words...techno handjob
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
