I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
