And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
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He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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