i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
