Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize