well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
